I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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