i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
