And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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