I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
