Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
