she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
