Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
