She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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