O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
