I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
