Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
