True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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