i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
