kristin has been a bad kristin
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
