you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I sprained my soul last night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
