At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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