Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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