I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
