She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
