You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
