I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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