What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
