We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
