I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
