I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
