we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
