I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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