Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
