i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
