I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
