Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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