Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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