it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
