In the future we'll all be gay
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
