i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
