does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
