Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
