I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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