One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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