the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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