the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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