I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
