Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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