why didn't you poke me back
I can text with my tongue
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
