Where is the hickey?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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