My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
