honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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