yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
