About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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