just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
