Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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