News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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