I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
