i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
