we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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