drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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